There is a shallow pond. It's surrounded by grasses, and so inevitably, by dandelions. Sometimes, when their sunny faces grow tired and the wind carries their remains into the sky, I think of myself.
A tuft of dandelion, able to float above the world, able to be a thoughtful bystander, only to watch as life rolls along below it. This privilege doubles as a curse, as many do, as to be able to fly so high, it must be small and light. Weak and insignificant. In exchange for the ability to see the world, it has to relinquish all control to the wind. Maybe it will land in the grass and grow. But more than likely, it will land on the sidewalk, or maybeon the asphalt. In all reality, it could land in the grass and still not grow, fated to a life of insignificance.
There is a shallow pond. Stones and pebbles lining its bottom. Curiously, they say none of the rocks originated in the pond. Each of them found their way from the land by itself. Each rock had its opportunity to affect the pond as it entered. The smaller ones fell in quietly, barely a splash and sometimes a ring or two of motion. The bigger rocks made great splashes, rolling ripples across the pond in its entirety and sending the stones at the bottom tumbling. This tumbling eroded away at the pebbles below, sometimes polishing the stones, and sometimes breaking them apart. Being polished was preferred, naturally, but truthfully, each chip in a rock was simply a mark of individuality, a way of identification.
It may be assumed then, that the bigger the rock, the more impact it will have on this shallow pond. Assumptions are bad conclusions. During storms, winds pick up the tiniest of rocks and violently drop them into the pond, rippling like no other. The boulders are too big to be picked up and instead are rolled smoothly into the pond.
When in times of content,I want to be the biggest of rocks, disregarding that things are already okay and making my impact anyway. During storms, times of trouble, I want to be the pebble that rises to the occasion, when the usually great borders cannot. The life of a dandelion tuft just isn't for me...
Monday, July 9, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Ignorance Opens the Door for Imagination
A while ago, I poured my rather confused thoughts onto this virtual piece of paper about ignorance and what I considered my philosophy on it. Risking the embarrassment I may be forced to endure if this is read in a couple years time, I will once again, pour my rather confused (but slightly more organized) thoughts onto this upgraded (Google Chrome is better than Internet Explorer) piece of paper.
First, a little back story. I've met two people in my (admittedly short) lifetime that can make the world around me blur when I'm with them, make my insides glow with bliss and bubble with joy, and fog my vision of any problems with the artificial reassurance that they can eradicate world hunger with a smile. One, my lovely pediatrician (who is actually a nurse-practitioner), and two, a lady I've seen in church twice.
Now, I could very easily dismiss what can only be described as the bubbly feeling I get when I'm around them as aura compatibility, but that wouldn't be very convincing, would it? Besides, I yearned to be like them, spreading good cheer wherever I went. And so, while voraciously doing my homework and definitely not procrastinating whatsoever, I mulled over how this could be- Why is it that these ladies gave me such positive feelings? Not just me, mind you. I noticed that the people around them reacted to them the same way I did
It was certainly not completely based off their personality. I see my pediatrician once (okay, I get hurt a lot, maybe more along the lines of twice or thrice) a year, which equates to about 45 minutes maximum interaction time with her, and the lady at church, I've only heard say 5 words: "Come here." and "Body of Christ." However, both of them did ooze confidence in the way that they held themselves, and appeared to have many leadership qualities. Almost as if they could easily keep a hundred 5-year-old's on sugar highs in line with a look and a smile. Speaking of which, both of their smiles were very kind and reassuring.
And if I'm being totally honest, a big part of it was that they both were incredibly pretty. My breath caught a little when I first saw both of them, and I'm pretty sure this characteristic set off the wide-eyed and completely in awe reaction, which was set in stone by their confidence.
The rest, is imagination. I'm pretty sure that the biggest factor of my admiration is the fact that I don't know them at all. I don't know who they are, how they act, if they're actually as powerful as they seem or if they're simply egotistic and derogatory. This ignorance of their true persona has given me a mighty liberty- the freedom to give them whatever personality I please. In my mind, they can be just as perfect as they appear, the perfect candidate to look up to. In my mind, they can have the ability to fix all the problems of the world. In my mind, they can do anything. And this illusion I've conjured up is what's driving this awe I hold of them.
Applying this idea to celebrities, I wondered what the difference between myself and say, any given actress on the Disney Channel is. My first thought was that they had different dreams than I, and had the capabilities and motivation (and terrible supportive parents) to accomplish their dreams in a timely (as in before they become legal adults) manner. They're successful. That's why people look up to them- they've accomplished their dreams already, something most of us are still aspiring to do.
And perhaps that they're rich and glamorous plays a part in our almost-worshiping views on these people(not just Disney Channel, mind you, any celebrity). But I think a big part of it is that we don't actually know them. This ignorance of their real self lets a mind wander, creating a terrible personality (if you yearn to be a hater) or a godly personality (if you want to deepen your idolization). I'm almost positive that once an actual personality is revealed, the magic of the unknown disperses and their status is reduced to simply a human being who could very likely be your next door neighbor.
All in all, not knowing sometimes can be the best, as the best role model is one without flaws. And one like that, of course, can only be obtained through the ignorance of flaws and the forming of a beyond perfect persona.
In other news, I did a little clean up around here to lessen my mortification when reading things over. I hope you don't mind too much.
First, a little back story. I've met two people in my (admittedly short) lifetime that can make the world around me blur when I'm with them, make my insides glow with bliss and bubble with joy, and fog my vision of any problems with the artificial reassurance that they can eradicate world hunger with a smile. One, my lovely pediatrician (who is actually a nurse-practitioner), and two, a lady I've seen in church twice.
Now, I could very easily dismiss what can only be described as the bubbly feeling I get when I'm around them as aura compatibility, but that wouldn't be very convincing, would it? Besides, I yearned to be like them, spreading good cheer wherever I went. And so, while voraciously doing my homework and definitely not procrastinating whatsoever, I mulled over how this could be- Why is it that these ladies gave me such positive feelings? Not just me, mind you. I noticed that the people around them reacted to them the same way I did
It was certainly not completely based off their personality. I see my pediatrician once (okay, I get hurt a lot, maybe more along the lines of twice or thrice) a year, which equates to about 45 minutes maximum interaction time with her, and the lady at church, I've only heard say 5 words: "Come here." and "Body of Christ." However, both of them did ooze confidence in the way that they held themselves, and appeared to have many leadership qualities. Almost as if they could easily keep a hundred 5-year-old's on sugar highs in line with a look and a smile. Speaking of which, both of their smiles were very kind and reassuring.
And if I'm being totally honest, a big part of it was that they both were incredibly pretty. My breath caught a little when I first saw both of them, and I'm pretty sure this characteristic set off the wide-eyed and completely in awe reaction, which was set in stone by their confidence.
The rest, is imagination. I'm pretty sure that the biggest factor of my admiration is the fact that I don't know them at all. I don't know who they are, how they act, if they're actually as powerful as they seem or if they're simply egotistic and derogatory. This ignorance of their true persona has given me a mighty liberty- the freedom to give them whatever personality I please. In my mind, they can be just as perfect as they appear, the perfect candidate to look up to. In my mind, they can have the ability to fix all the problems of the world. In my mind, they can do anything. And this illusion I've conjured up is what's driving this awe I hold of them.
Applying this idea to celebrities, I wondered what the difference between myself and say, any given actress on the Disney Channel is. My first thought was that they had different dreams than I, and had the capabilities and motivation (and terrible supportive parents) to accomplish their dreams in a timely (as in before they become legal adults) manner. They're successful. That's why people look up to them- they've accomplished their dreams already, something most of us are still aspiring to do.
And perhaps that they're rich and glamorous plays a part in our almost-worshiping views on these people(not just Disney Channel, mind you, any celebrity). But I think a big part of it is that we don't actually know them. This ignorance of their real self lets a mind wander, creating a terrible personality (if you yearn to be a hater) or a godly personality (if you want to deepen your idolization). I'm almost positive that once an actual personality is revealed, the magic of the unknown disperses and their status is reduced to simply a human being who could very likely be your next door neighbor.
All in all, not knowing sometimes can be the best, as the best role model is one without flaws. And one like that, of course, can only be obtained through the ignorance of flaws and the forming of a beyond perfect persona.
In other news, I did a little clean up around here to lessen my mortification when reading things over. I hope you don't mind too much.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Say Yes
At least once in your life, you’ll feel like the meaning of your life is being revealed to you, just exactly the significance of your little life among the 7 billion others in the world. But how do you know if that’s really it? How do you know that you won’t get another calling? What if it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you?
You know by the immense joy you feel when you say “Yes.” When you say “That’s what I’m meant for.” No hesitation, no doubts. Just a stupid looking grin on your face and a silly laughter playing on the tip of your tongue, tickling its way from your tightly pursed lips.
Friday, August 5, 2011
FreeRice?
I'm sure I talked about this before, but a quick note. I made a video about it! Actually...I made a video about it quite a while ago, during spring break, but it just didn't feel like being uploaded! Silly video.
Yay for rice!
I spent a good 4 hours counting rice. You should watch the 3 minute video.
In other news, I'll be putting up a quick tutorial on how to crochet teddy bears for my great aunt in California in case she forgets my instruction while I was there. (Granted, my lesson consisted of the 3 Vietnamese words I knew about crocheting, but I think I got the message across.
Moving along, I wrote the first chapter of a story I made up a couple weeks ago when I was feeling inspired. Yesterday, I couldn't find the first chapter, so I rewrote it.
I found it this morning.
In those couple weeks, my writing changed a lot. The first version is more tense, exciting, and her name is Gabrielle, which flows wells with my writing. The second version is more story like, has more plot details, and her name is Sarah, which flows better with that writing.
Now I have the wonderful task of combining the two stories (I like the writing of the v1 better, but v2 has things I have to insert into v1, and I need to pick a new name that flows with the consequential new draft.)
I'm feeling quite productive at the moment. No time to waste, I'm going to FREERICE!
andyoushouldtoo
Yay for rice!
I spent a good 4 hours counting rice. You should watch the 3 minute video.
In other news, I'll be putting up a quick tutorial on how to crochet teddy bears for my great aunt in California in case she forgets my instruction while I was there. (Granted, my lesson consisted of the 3 Vietnamese words I knew about crocheting, but I think I got the message across.
Moving along, I wrote the first chapter of a story I made up a couple weeks ago when I was feeling inspired. Yesterday, I couldn't find the first chapter, so I rewrote it.
I found it this morning.
In those couple weeks, my writing changed a lot. The first version is more tense, exciting, and her name is Gabrielle, which flows wells with my writing. The second version is more story like, has more plot details, and her name is Sarah, which flows better with that writing.
Now I have the wonderful task of combining the two stories (I like the writing of the v1 better, but v2 has things I have to insert into v1, and I need to pick a new name that flows with the consequential new draft.)
I'm feeling quite productive at the moment. No time to waste, I'm going to FREERICE!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My Bubble...Popped
I hate this.
All my life, I've been in a nice little bubble, pink and floating through unicorn and cupcakes land.
But now, all that's gone away...
I've been blessed with a curse. Or cursed with a blessing. To care (as my mom says) way too much for my own good.
My life before high school was relatively amazing. Of course, to me, at the time, it was terrible. Prior to 7th grade, I had no actual friends, and my parents went through a rough time in their relationship. My friends and I were being seperated by the different school districts. I didn't make it into the school I really wanted to get into. Day to day drama...
But, 3 months into 9th grade, everything was perfect. I had an overflowing supply of friends, my parents got over themselves (and can handle anything now...), and I still keep in touch with my other friends. And for that school, I'm happy here, where I am right now.
I am SO freakin fortunate, more than I'll ever know. Everytime I hear something like, "I always skip lunch...My mom will be mad if I ask for money" or "I have no childhood. It ended when the physical and verbal abuse, cutting....started" I'm just in awe at my ignorance before. How did all of this happen around me, to the people I knew, without me knowing? My world was safe and happy. Everyone was like me, with a nice family, a nice life, and nothing bad.
Within a couple months, I learned so much about the people around me. I don't live in a place where everyone's okay, like me.
Unfortunately, I've figured this out too late. A month left of school leaves no time to befriend every student I hear a rumor about. Damn.
A little bit of me wants to block this out. I can't do anything about it, really. But I know that if I do, I'll regret it terribly if something bad happens...
Just try...
Hope, Pray, and offer a Smile...
All my life, I've been in a nice little bubble, pink and floating through unicorn and cupcakes land.
But now, all that's gone away...
I've been blessed with a curse. Or cursed with a blessing. To care (as my mom says) way too much for my own good.
My life before high school was relatively amazing. Of course, to me, at the time, it was terrible. Prior to 7th grade, I had no actual friends, and my parents went through a rough time in their relationship. My friends and I were being seperated by the different school districts. I didn't make it into the school I really wanted to get into. Day to day drama...
But, 3 months into 9th grade, everything was perfect. I had an overflowing supply of friends, my parents got over themselves (and can handle anything now...), and I still keep in touch with my other friends. And for that school, I'm happy here, where I am right now.
I am SO freakin fortunate, more than I'll ever know. Everytime I hear something like, "I always skip lunch...My mom will be mad if I ask for money" or "I have no childhood. It ended when the physical and verbal abuse, cutting....started" I'm just in awe at my ignorance before. How did all of this happen around me, to the people I knew, without me knowing? My world was safe and happy. Everyone was like me, with a nice family, a nice life, and nothing bad.
Within a couple months, I learned so much about the people around me. I don't live in a place where everyone's okay, like me.
Unfortunately, I've figured this out too late. A month left of school leaves no time to befriend every student I hear a rumor about. Damn.
A little bit of me wants to block this out. I can't do anything about it, really. But I know that if I do, I'll regret it terribly if something bad happens...
Just try...
Hope, Pray, and offer a Smile...
Monday, March 14, 2011
Relief
Everyone seems to be going nuts over this Japan incident. Unfortunately, I can probabably count on one hand how many weeks this buzz will last before everyone forgets...with 2 fingers cut off...
Remember that Hatian earthquake last year? 100-200 thousand people died, if not more (I couldn't find a proper amount). They still need aid!
Maybe you do. You should.
How about the Indonesian tsunami a couple years back? 220,000 people died, according to the official count. I googled their current situation, and found nothing. Newsstories from 2004, when it happened, 2005, as a reminder... 2010, when that smaller tsunami happened... Can that whole area be rebuilt, recovered, in 7 years, even after a smaller tsunami hit it?
Smaller in size, but in no way smaller in effect, there have been many other happenings in past years as well. And we forget.
Japan, at most, has 15 thousand people dead, (I've hear 10,000)(feel free to update me). If we forgot Haiti in 2 months, Indonesia (I can't remember, I was too young...) in probably a couple months too...
Please. Help out Japan now, but don't brush it aside after a week or so. Don't depend on the media to remind you about those suffering.
Don't forget about the other victims as well, of other disasters!
So...If you're an awesome artist with time and money, commission for other causes too! Every penny (or whatever currency you run in) counts!
25 cents can feed a child!
On the topic of feeding children, 28,000 people die daily from hunger. On going disaster, yet a lot of people don't think about it...
So...remember victims of disasters...AND victims of poverty and the results of it.
Also, visit FreeRice.com Even if you don't have time to do the vocab thing, you can download their toolbar. Every 5 searches, 2500 grains of rice is donated, but the daily max is 5000. Use it through you day. Unfortunately, the thing that measures if the search is fake or not is kinda screwy (yesterday, i put in 10 searches of random object on my desk, and they all counted... today, i searched for indonesia death toll, and then for a map of indonesia, and the latter one was counted as fake)...Ah well.
Oh.
HAPPY PI DAY!!!
(smile for pie!)
Remember that Hatian earthquake last year? 100-200 thousand people died, if not more (I couldn't find a proper amount). They still need aid!
Maybe you do. You should.
How about the Indonesian tsunami a couple years back? 220,000 people died, according to the official count. I googled their current situation, and found nothing. Newsstories from 2004, when it happened, 2005, as a reminder... 2010, when that smaller tsunami happened... Can that whole area be rebuilt, recovered, in 7 years, even after a smaller tsunami hit it?
Smaller in size, but in no way smaller in effect, there have been many other happenings in past years as well. And we forget.
Japan, at most, has 15 thousand people dead, (I've hear 10,000)(feel free to update me). If we forgot Haiti in 2 months, Indonesia (I can't remember, I was too young...) in probably a couple months too...
Please. Help out Japan now, but don't brush it aside after a week or so. Don't depend on the media to remind you about those suffering.
Don't forget about the other victims as well, of other disasters!
So...If you're an awesome artist with time and money, commission for other causes too! Every penny (or whatever currency you run in) counts!
25 cents can feed a child!
On the topic of feeding children, 28,000 people die daily from hunger. On going disaster, yet a lot of people don't think about it...
So...remember victims of disasters...AND victims of poverty and the results of it.
Also, visit FreeRice.com Even if you don't have time to do the vocab thing, you can download their toolbar. Every 5 searches, 2500 grains of rice is donated, but the daily max is 5000. Use it through you day. Unfortunately, the thing that measures if the search is fake or not is kinda screwy (yesterday, i put in 10 searches of random object on my desk, and they all counted... today, i searched for indonesia death toll, and then for a map of indonesia, and the latter one was counted as fake)...Ah well.
Oh.
HAPPY PI DAY!!!
(smile for pie!)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
A Somewhat More Serious Entry
Yesterday morning, I was wondering to myself, is it better to be happy but stupid, or smart and angry? The more refined question would be, is it better to be blissfully ignorant or informed and fight?
Unsure of my personal opinion, I turned to my dad. He answered without missing a beat (I suppose he has thought about this before already) that if you're putting this on a personal scale, life is too short for anger. However, if this was on a society scale, being 'angry' to ensure other's 'happiness' would be a great thing to do. I intepret this to mean people who are uninformed, and therefore don't do anything, cannot be technically faulted for being blissfully ignorant. However, if you are knowledgable, you should at least try to do something. Otherwise, you'd be knowledgable and indifferent, something that you can be faulted for in my eyes.
But wouldn't that mean if you stay informed about the world (like you should), you'd have to put in effort for all causes? The environment, hunger, lack of shelter, disease, endangered animals...There are more than you can count, especially since "hunger", and other peopel related problems can be specified even more into areas (such as Asia, Africa, or even more specific, Haiti, China, Swaziland, whereever you live). So how exactly does one try and change the world?
I've switched my motto to "I'm saving MY world smiling!" Instead of spreading my efforts to all the problems in the world (which would probable mean a nickel for each cause -_-)(which I admit, I was trying to do before >.> (don't laugh)), I've resigned myself to change MY world. But to what ends does my world stretch to anyway? Peers, family, of course, but also Haiti, recycling (at least in my area), drugs, hard headed teenagers (I exclude myself from that category), and any other problems I may encounter at school, at home, or in between! Besides, I only have legitimate information on those anyway. I suppose if I really wanted to expand my world, I could research on hunger and disease in Swaziland, but as bad as this sounds, I will instead choose to be blissfully ignorant of outside occurances, at least until one of the problems in my world is solved to the point of my satisfaction. Besides, I'm hoping that perhaps someone will have come to a similar understanding somewhere else, and working (probably harder than me) to change their world!
On a totally shallow point, I want to name my world. Any ideas? SmilingLand doesn't have that much of an appeal...
Smile!
Unsure of my personal opinion, I turned to my dad. He answered without missing a beat (I suppose he has thought about this before already) that if you're putting this on a personal scale, life is too short for anger. However, if this was on a society scale, being 'angry' to ensure other's 'happiness' would be a great thing to do. I intepret this to mean people who are uninformed, and therefore don't do anything, cannot be technically faulted for being blissfully ignorant. However, if you are knowledgable, you should at least try to do something. Otherwise, you'd be knowledgable and indifferent, something that you can be faulted for in my eyes.
But wouldn't that mean if you stay informed about the world (like you should), you'd have to put in effort for all causes? The environment, hunger, lack of shelter, disease, endangered animals...There are more than you can count, especially since "hunger", and other peopel related problems can be specified even more into areas (such as Asia, Africa, or even more specific, Haiti, China, Swaziland, whereever you live). So how exactly does one try and change the world?
I've switched my motto to "I'm saving MY world smiling!" Instead of spreading my efforts to all the problems in the world (which would probable mean a nickel for each cause -_-)(which I admit, I was trying to do before >.> (don't laugh)), I've resigned myself to change MY world. But to what ends does my world stretch to anyway? Peers, family, of course, but also Haiti, recycling (at least in my area), drugs, hard headed teenagers (I exclude myself from that category), and any other problems I may encounter at school, at home, or in between! Besides, I only have legitimate information on those anyway. I suppose if I really wanted to expand my world, I could research on hunger and disease in Swaziland, but as bad as this sounds, I will instead choose to be blissfully ignorant of outside occurances, at least until one of the problems in my world is solved to the point of my satisfaction. Besides, I'm hoping that perhaps someone will have come to a similar understanding somewhere else, and working (probably harder than me) to change their world!
On a totally shallow point, I want to name my world. Any ideas? SmilingLand doesn't have that much of an appeal...
Smile!
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