At least once in your life, you’ll feel like the meaning of your life is being revealed to you, just exactly the significance of your little life among the 7 billion others in the world. But how do you know if that’s really it? How do you know that you won’t get another calling? What if it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you?
You know by the immense joy you feel when you say “Yes.” When you say “That’s what I’m meant for.” No hesitation, no doubts. Just a stupid looking grin on your face and a silly laughter playing on the tip of your tongue, tickling its way from your tightly pursed lips.
Sometimes, it’s confusing. Despite your desperate grasp on the memory, things blur from your excitement, and you’re no longer sure of the details. You test out different scenes in your head, but all you get is uncertainty. A panicked disappointment sets in. Will you hear your calling again, to clear things up? Only God knows. All that’s certain is the knowledge that your life does contain meaning outside of it’s daily humdrum and the basic idea of where you’re meant to go to guide you on.
I'm sure I talked about this before, but a quick note. I made a video about it! Actually...I made a video about it quite a while ago, during spring break, but it just didn't feel like being uploaded! Silly video.
Yay for rice!
I spent a good 4 hours counting rice. You should watch the 3 minute video.
In other news, I'll be putting up a quick tutorial on how to crochet teddy bears for my great aunt in California in case she forgets my instruction while I was there. (Granted, my lesson consisted of the 3 Vietnamese words I knew about crocheting, but I think I got the message across.
Moving along, I wrote the first chapter of a story I made up a couple weeks ago when I was feeling inspired. Yesterday, I couldn't find the first chapter, so I rewrote it.
I found it this morning.
In those couple weeks, my writing changed a lot. The first version is more tense, exciting, and her name is Gabrielle, which flows wells with my writing. The second version is more story like, has more plot details, and her name is Sarah, which flows better with that writing.
Now I have the wonderful task of combining the two stories (I like the writing of the v1 better, but v2 has things I have to insert into v1, and I need to pick a new name that flows with the consequential new draft.)
I'm feeling quite productive at the moment. No time to waste, I'm going to FREERICE! andyoushouldtoo
All my life, I've been in a nice little bubble, pink and floating through unicorn and cupcakes land.
But now, all that's gone away...
I've been blessed with a curse. Or cursed with a blessing. To care (as my mom says) way too much for my own good.
My life before high school was relatively amazing. Of course, to me, at the time, it was terrible. Prior to 7th grade, I had no actual friends, and my parents went through a rough time in their relationship. My friends and I were being seperated by the different school districts. I didn't make it into the school I really wanted to get into. Day to day drama...
But, 3 months into 9th grade, everything was perfect. I had an overflowing supply of friends, my parents got over themselves (and can handle anything now...), and I still keep in touch with my other friends. And for that school, I'm happy here, where I am right now.
I am SO freakin fortunate, more than I'll ever know. Everytime I hear something like, "I always skip lunch...My mom will be mad if I ask for money" or "I have no childhood. It ended when the physical and verbal abuse, cutting....started" I'm just in awe at my ignorance before. How did all of this happen around me, to the people I knew, without me knowing? My world was safe and happy. Everyone was like me, with a nice family, a nice life, and nothing bad.
Within a couple months, I learned so much about the people around me. I don't live in a place where everyone's okay, like me.
Unfortunately, I've figured this out too late. A month left of school leaves no time to befriend every student I hear a rumor about. Damn.
A little bit of me wants to block this out. I can't do anything about it, really. But I know that if I do, I'll regret it terribly if something bad happens...
Everyone seems to be going nuts over this Japan incident. Unfortunately, I can probabably count on one hand how many weeks this buzz will last before everyone forgets...with 2 fingers cut off... Remember that Hatian earthquake last year? 100-200 thousand people died, if not more (I couldn't find a proper amount). They still need aid!
Maybe you do. You should.
How about the Indonesian tsunami a couple years back? 220,000 people died, according to the official count. I googled their current situation, and found nothing. Newsstories from 2004, when it happened, 2005, as a reminder... 2010, when that smaller tsunami happened... Can that whole area be rebuilt, recovered, in 7 years, even after a smaller tsunami hit it?
Smaller in size, but in no way smaller in effect, there have been many other happenings in past years as well. And we forget.
Japan, at most, has 15 thousand people dead, (I've hear 10,000)(feel free to update me). If we forgot Haiti in 2 months, Indonesia (I can't remember, I was too young...) in probably a couple months too...
Please. Help out Japan now, but don't brush it aside after a week or so. Don't depend on the media to remind you about those suffering.
Don't forget about the other victims as well, of other disasters!
So...If you're an awesome artist with time and money, commission for other causes too! Every penny (or whatever currency you run in) counts!
25 cents can feed a child!
On the topic of feeding children, 28,000 people die daily from hunger. On going disaster, yet a lot of people don't think about it...
So...remember victims of disasters...AND victims of poverty and the results of it. Also, visit FreeRice.com Even if you don't have time to do the vocab thing, you can download their toolbar. Every 5 searches, 2500 grains of rice is donated, but the daily max is 5000. Use it through you day. Unfortunately, the thing that measures if the search is fake or not is kinda screwy (yesterday, i put in 10 searches of random object on my desk, and they all counted... today, i searched for indonesia death toll, and then for a map of indonesia, and the latter one was counted as fake)...Ah well. Oh. HAPPY PI DAY!!!
Yesterday morning, I was wondering to myself, is it better to be happy but stupid, or smart and angry? The more refined question would be, is it better to be blissfully ignorant or informed and fight?
Unsure of my personal opinion, I turned to my dad. He answered without missing a beat (I suppose he has thought about this before already) that if you're putting this on a personal scale, life is too short for anger. However, if this was on a society scale, being 'angry' to ensure other's 'happiness' would be a great thing to do. I intepret this to mean people who are uninformed, and therefore don't do anything, cannot be technically faulted for being blissfully ignorant. However, if you are knowledgable, you should at least try to do something. Otherwise, you'd be knowledgable and indifferent, something that you can be faulted for in my eyes.
But wouldn't that mean if you stay informed about the world (like you should), you'd have to put in effort for all causes? The environment, hunger, lack of shelter, disease, endangered animals...There are more than you can count, especially since "hunger", and other peopel related problems can be specified even more into areas (such as Asia, Africa, or even more specific, Haiti, China, Swaziland, whereever you live). So how exactly does one try and change the world?
I've switched my motto to "I'm saving MY world smiling!" Instead of spreading my efforts to all the problems in the world (which would probable mean a nickel for each cause -_-)(which I admit, I was trying to do before >.> (don't laugh)), I've resigned myself to change MY world. But to what ends does my world stretch to anyway? Peers, family, of course, but also Haiti, recycling (at least in my area), drugs, hard headed teenagers (I exclude myself from that category), and any other problems I may encounter at school, at home, or in between! Besides, I only have legitimate information on those anyway. I suppose if I really wanted to expand my world, I could research on hunger and disease in Swaziland, but as bad as this sounds, I will instead choose to be blissfully ignorant of outside occurances, at least until one of the problems in my world is solved to the point of my satisfaction. Besides, I'm hoping that perhaps someone will have come to a similar understanding somewhere else, and working (probably harder than me) to change their world!
On a totally shallow point, I want to name my world. Any ideas? SmilingLand doesn't have that much of an appeal...
I woke up this morning in a tank top and booty shorts, seeing the sunlight stream through my blinds(eww, I wish I had curtains), and hearing birds chirp outside and I felt pretty dang good. And then I saw the snow outside and it was like someone just told me that unicorns existed. Snow? During the summer?
Wait....It's not summer....RAWR...
I hate how certain things triggers the season my world is in. Birds chirping+sunlight+not cold= SUMMER! But yet, I've had more than several mornings during the winter where birds are chirping, my house is warm, and sunlight is dancing on my walls.
Rain means spring. Wind means autumn. Bitter air means winter. It's terrible. I get so confused on more occasions than necessary. Pooh.
On more arts and craft news, I'm learning to crochet! My one objective? To make amigurumi. Heh.
Parents fight. It's a fact of life. And yet, why does it bother the kids so much?
Because the parents fight the wrong way. A "good" parent wouldn't let young children watch a frightning scene on TV, an yet, they let all h-e-double hockey sticks loose when they fight. There must be something wrong if Mommy and Daddy are being extra mean, right?
As kids get older, they find ways to make the fighting stop. Plug in earphones and listen to music at the highest volume. Go outside. Try and stop the fighting themself. What do I do? I think the older I get, the easier it is to stop caring. I just listen to my iPod on a volume setting high enough that I can zone out my parents, but still able to hear what they're saying. But, my brother, on the other hand, charges in head first, trying to get them to shut up. Plan A: Cry so that they feel bad. (He's blessed w/ the ability to cry whenever he wants...-___-) Plan B: Get one of them mad at him so they forget the other problems Plan C: Join the argument (yeah...)
How sad is it that children have to interfere?
I know that fighting is unavoidable. Friends fight, siblings fight, parents fight. It's a way of life! But, for some reason, fights between siblings, co workers, not so close friends, are always less extreme than than fights between parents and friends. Maybe it's because they're already so close to each other. (And siblings are meant to argue, so they don't count.) And they're not afraid to hold back. So they leash out their worst insults, bring back that big blackmail they promised to never tell. What if...you did hold back? Think a little before you say something? When I fight w/ my brother, the worst word I use is "stupid" because I'm afraid that he'll take what I'll say to heart (which I know he wont, but just in case). So, maybe if you decide that the person you're arguing with may spiral into depression if you say something that hit too close to home, you'll hold back a little? But of course, you're still looking for something that'll silence them....Just not tooo close to home.
Well, I wrote this last week when my parents were actually fighting...for about an hour...and then they got over it. But I waited a week to make sure this didn't sound stupid. Sorry if it still does... ^.^'
Well, What's happening in my life right now? There's a Sadie Hawkins dance coming up at my school...I don't think anyone's going...
Well...That's...it?
Smile! (imagine all the guys waiting for the girls to ask them...seeing how most girls are boycotting the dance...heheh)
